WARNING: **Really LONG post without pictures!**
I am an incredibly shy person. This is something I've tried to overcome. When we first moved to Des Moines, I told myself that I had to put myself out there and get to know people, otherwise I wouldn't like it there and would miss being in Utah that much more. Although I tried, I look back and think I could have done better, could have tried harder. I still loved it there and have lots of great friends and wonderful memories from living there.
I like to think that I enjoy being in large groups of people. Girls night out, baby showers, recipe group... I'm always excited to go out and have fun! Once I am there, not always, but most of the time, I find that I'm not having as much fun as I had anticipated, wishing that I had something to talk about and that those words that don't come, would. Words are sometimes hard for me to find, I can think of something in my head, but the words to describe it don't come. I always do better one on one or when there are just a few people who I know. Believe it or not, sometimes in those situations I think I talk too much!
When we moved to Ohio, I had no choice but to get involved and get to know a lot of people, it's a small ward, they need lots of help. I was called as the enrichment leader(and also sunbeam teacher). Scary, this means I have to talk to people I don't know, take charge of something and lead those who are on the committee that was started not long after I was called. I was grateful to know that at least I could decide who would do the part of speaking on those nights, it didn't have to be me(not yet anyway). I haven't been in a lot of situations where I have to lead others. I am horrible at making decisions, I always want to make everyone happy, which isn't always possible.
I was determined to plan an activity that would bring a large crowd and cause everyone to walk away feeling spiritually uplifted and thinking "That was so much fun, I'm glad I took the time to come." I turned to my wonderful friend google, and searched for Relief Society birthday ideas. There were tons! Thank heaven for the internet, with my lack of creativity I was happy to use someone else's wonderful idea. The one I decided on was "Home, Family, and Purse'onal Enrichment" with a purse theme. With the help of the committee, we had games, speakers and dinner planned and ready.
Bad dreams kept me awake on Monday night, since Tuesday was the big day to put on a birthday party for the Relief Society. I dreamed that we didn't have decorations, only a couple of people on the committee showed up to help and ghetto cars with lots of people in them started pulling up to the church and I was running around like crazy...we don't have enough food, what are we going to decorate with, who is going to do all the talking? I knew I wouldn't sleep much the night before, I always have crazy dreams the night before something big happens.
Yesterday morning, everyone came and set up, we had decorations and it looked really nice! I wish I had pictures! I was happy and excited to get it over with and to see how things would go. Mostly to prove to myself that nothing disastrous was going to happen!
It was amazing! We had a great turnout, including all of the committee around 35 people(which is an awesome turn out for this ward!) Everything went as planned and even better than I had anticipated. I was seriously planning for something to go wrong, don't ask me why. Nerves do that to me! We had amazing speakers, the food was so yummy, and the games were great! No major disasters came along! Everyone who was there seemed to be having a great time, and that was all I wanted out of the night! At the end of the night, the enrichment counselor, Lee Ann (she conducted the whole night) recognized and thanked me for making it all happen and for the hard work that went into it. I was embarrassed, having all eyes on me is not my idea of fun. Without the committee, it wouldn't have been as great! Thanks to those who helped!
I wanted to get this in writing to remind myself that I can do this! I am capable of being in a big crowd, leading an activity and enjoying it! I know Heavenly Father truly is watching over me and knows what I need, otherwise it wouldn't have worked out that way. I am grateful for the challenges of both of my callings. The ability to serve others and see how it affects them is so rewarding! I am learning so much and loving it! I worried about moving to a ward that is so small, knowing I would have bigger responsibilities in church than I ever have. Being required to come out of my shell and let myself be known, and get to know others is a difficult thing for me to do. I still have a long way to go, but now I know more what I am capable of!
We set the bar high! I am excited to get planning the next one and have it turn out even better! If anyone is still reading, I'm impressed! Thanks for letting me ramble!